Never exercise straight after a weekend

A heavy weekend of partying, so I decide to nip to the gym early on Monday to do some penance. Halfway through changing into my two piece swimsuit, my phone goes. I halt my changing temporarily to take a call that turns out to be distractingly urgent, complex, and very long winded. When it is finally over I grab a towel and head for the pool. I dive straight in, and go straight into a furious front crawl. About 10 lengths in another swimmer taps me on the shoulder. Excuse me, he says. I think you may want to check yourself out in a mirror. I look down. All is well below the waist. Above the waist is, embarrassingly, an unfinished job. I am wearing a lacy White bra. I salvage the situation with dignity. Are you saying you don't like Speedo's new underwear-as-swimwear? I ask loftily.