Paunch workouts for women

I have been doing the Matt Roberts Lose Your Paunch in A Month workout. It's not meant for women, it's for blokes with a gut. But this is the post feminist age where gender is no longer an issue and I'll be damned if I am going to opt for the decorous leg raises in the women's equivalent. Paunch workout it is. And it is pretty damn satisfying stuff. I cant say it is doing a great deal for my own personal paunch - in fact, the very first in the series of eight exercises that you are called on to do with increasing intensity and frequency over the four week period consists of doing a side raise while clutching your paunch, which can be deeply dispiriting - I would have put this exercise last, Matt, as there is a huge risk that 10 reps of clutching the Source Of The Problem is enough to send you straight to the doughnuts. But it is doing a surprising amount of my stamina and general ability, which goes to show that if you want to lose your paunch, Matt Roberts cannot in fact help you. The only thing that will lose you your paunch, is a padlock for those doughnuts. One with a key that you can throw away or a combination so complicated you cannot hope to remember it ever again. I do this Paunch workout 4 days a week, punctuated in between with cardiovascular exercise, or treasured Rest Days (which get fewer and further between each week - this week, for example, I only get one, and I have already marked my calendar in joyful anticipation). And each time I do this workout it becomes clearer to me why this is a workout for men and not women. It is nothing to do with the intensity. It is to do with the scope for wardrobe malfunction. A men's workout, it transpires, has you rolling, heaving, planking, twisting and jumping in succession so quick it defies gravity, and your clothes respond similarly. This has never happened to me before. Never before have I had to take so many stops mid workout to adjust my top which appears to have ridden up right up to my chest somewhere between side twists with a medicine ball, and the 30 second plank. Or, pulled my leggings back up over the Offending Paunch, because they parted company with my tummy midway through my 15 squat-and-jumps. Or, readjusted my sports knickers because the 20 oblique sit ups with weights which are forcing me to do an involuntary shuffle forward every 2 or 3 reps, is giving me a humiliating combination of wedgie-meets-builders bum. Do men experience these problems when they do the Matt Roberts Paunch Workout? Is it that they run exactly the same risks, they just care less about them? Judging by the Personal Trainer standing on the next mat, who instead of watching his client gasp his way through a gruelling weightlifting regime, has been staring into the mirror carefully adjusting his beanie and checking out the status of his abs simultaneously for the last 20 minutes, I discount the idea that blokes who work out don't care if their gym gear goes temporarily awry. Well then, either the type of gym gear they wear - notable absence of male clad lycra in my gym, it's all about What-This-Old-Thing-I-Wore-This-Last-Marathon - must minimise the risk of workout related wardrobe malfunction. Or I am doing these exercises horribly wrong. Either way, there is a lesson in there for Matt Roberts for when he next puts together his Beat Your Paunch And Join My Gym For A Million Quid A Month promos.