Shabby Gym Chic

I spotted a notice on my way into the women's changing rooms yesterday. Do you want a flatter tummy and smaller thighs? It demanded. Underneath these words was a perfectly formed woman clad head to toe in pricey Nike gym workout gear. I mull over this as I change for my workout. The answer is, as whoever is responsible for the flier very well knows, yes. Of course I want a flatter tummy and smaller thighs. Everyone does. I bet if you asked Kate and Pippa Middleton that question the answer would be yes. But I won't get them, for two reasons. One is, that I am a normal, average woman who likes her food. And the other is, that I will never shell out on expensive workout clothes designed to tighten my legs, firm my bum, and push my breasts out provocatively. In the gym, I am not on show for anyone, nor am I wanting to market myself as a sex object. In the gym, I am a deeply un attractive, sweaty, lumpen mess. I am also comfortable, which, looking around at the women changing into their gear on either side of me suggests, is an objective I share with many other gym goers. I look down at my kit. Really, really old black leggings, dirt cheap from Sports Direct. Ratty black t-shirt. Orthopaedic knee brace (SUPER sexy, right?) the only thing I don't skimp on is shoes, and I have no brand loyalty whatsoever - good shoes for pronating feet are all I am interested in. I read an article last Christmas that exhorted me to invest in new gym gear because it would motivate me to work out. Call me a cynic but the timing - just in time to add, £150 Stella Mc Cartney for Adidas t-shirt, to my Christmas list! Suggests the article was more marketing than sports research. I pad past the Legs, Bums 'n' Tums class lining up to go into the room and I clock that this cohort looks less like Kids From Fame. More like Preppies From Primark. I realise the big brands are turning over billions, but in the real world, guys, we are still pumping iron in our boyfriends' cast offs.