Wispa bites and movies

Home from work, and checking my mail box for letters I find a courier delivery card. Sorry we missed you! it says. Ever noticed, by the way, how the use of exclamation marks is supposed to denote informality and friendliness? All it ever triggers in me is irritation but then I'm an eats shoots and leaves kind of person. An apology with an exclamation mark is not an apology, it's an ill-timed joke. Especially this one, which goes on to say, we have lefty your parcel...and then the next bit is filled out in handwriting by the courier. And he has written "in your wheelie bin". Yup. This courier has delivered my package into my dustbin. And he has done this on bin collection day, which would be hilarious if it were not so entirely inconceivable. What person puts your package in a dustbin? Many phone calls to the providers later, it remains a mystery. This is not because it cannot be cleared up, but because the customer service people have been briefed not to go off message and consequently when I talk to them, and I speak to four of them in the dealing of this matter, I get exactly the same script, complete, believe it or not, with exclamations. Your courier left my package in my bin, I say, Oh, I am so sorry your package has been lost! is the answer. But it hasn't been lost, I reply, it was put in my dustbin. That's fine! I will register your lost package and resend it to you immediately! See what I mean? Total absence of human interaction makes resolution of this otherwise very simple issue absolutely impossible. If I had the energy I'd pursue my questioning, not with any hope of finding out why my package was put in a bin, but to see how far I can push the customer service operative off message before her head starts spinning and she self destructs. But I do not have the energy. So I go into my kitchen, which is well stocked for a birthday party I am throwing later on. I excavate the supplies, emerge from the kitchen with a packet of Wispa Mini Bites, take them into the lounge and slump in front of Independence Day, one of my fave Hollywood blockbuster trash movies. I love these mini bite things. Some clever marketing bod at Cadburys had the bright idea of taking all their various chocolate brands, chopping them into bits, slapping them into bags and charging twice what you would pay for buying them whole, because they have saved you the energy and time you need to bite them. These are things you chuck in your gob like Homer Simpson and swallow them down without even thinking about it. Genius. What these bashed up chocolate bits are also excellent for, is cake decorations. For this party I have made a cheesecake, and as an afterthought I have sprinkled Twirl bites all over the top, put the cheesecake back in the oven for an hour switched off, and let the diminishing heat slowly melt the bottom of the Twirl bites into the surface of the cake. Cheesecake bliss.